A friend contacted me the other day with a problem.  How could they reopen their office without exposing workers to unnecessary risk and their company to unwanted insurance claims?

They talked about rearranging the furniture, high-tech equipment to detect the infected, staff rotation, random swabbing, surgically attached masks, compulsory liability disclaimers and the like.  But even with these reasonable measures in place, how could the workers, especially those who travel on public transport, get to and from the office safely?

The solution came to me in a moment of clarity (when you’ve got it, you’ve got it).  Introducing the COVIDator 3000…

As you can see from my skilfully prepared mock-up, I can say with some confidence that all angles are covered.

• Bubble (social distancing compliant) with air filtration.
• Grass skis and paramotor for all terrain travel (optional wing for longer commutes).
• Lighting, powered by solar panel, with backup battery and standby generation (from paramotor) for 24-hour productivity.
• Bluetooth and voice modules for hands-free computer operation.
• Self-contained hygiene facilities on retractable undercarriage.

Don’t be surprised if you see me on the New Year’s Honours List.